Just Breathe

If only I could....I guess I am at that point where it is supposed to be difficult but Lord I need some sort of relief. Jackson's head is still on my right side directly below my ribs. He still hasn't flipped yet and obviously I wish he would! I am sooo looking forward to the day he drops, or lowers or whatever you call it when he is getting into position and I can breathe again. I can't lay flat and I can't sit up too much either. I hope something gives soon! :( When I go to the doctor on Feb 6th things are going to be different. This time we aren't gonna giggle for 2 minutes and say see you in 4 weeks, we are going to TALK. I need some answers (such as when can I fly and when can Little Jack fly and can I do my 6 week check up somewhere else like at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii and when will she decide to induce and what if he doesn't flip since he has been in the same position throughout the entire pregnancy and can she work with us on our dates since we are, as usual, on a tight military schedule). I know there are lots of things that can't be controlled, especially when it comes to labor and the army ironically, but everything has been so vague and I think we are close enough now that details aren't that much to ask for. My doctor is so sweet but I need some feedback! We have plans that have to be made at the last minute, it is crazy! I guess I'll go ahead and go there: Plane tickets, block leave dates, housing, vehicles, portable EVERYTHING for Jackson, doggie arrangements, etc. It is a long story and when I get more details I will fill you in. Basically, our family will be spread across the United States for 2009 from the middle of the Pacific to the start of the Atlantic literally (primarily Hawaii, Arkansas, Georgia, and Virginia) and we are trying to maximize our time together. Add in Jeremy coming home from 15 months in Iraq, the same week we get a new baby, followed by Officer Candidate School, and a Permanent Change of Station that we won't even be notified of until April probably and you get one confused couple! Oh but we can and we will handle it!

I have to say that I am not trying to complain. I feel very blessed every single day. I know things could be much worse. First of all I have Jeremy. What an awesome husband and I CAN'T WAIT to see him as a dad. We are so much alike, we laugh together and are best friends! It is kind of funny to see how we are reacting to the situation we are in and I know one day we will laugh at the curve balls. He calls me and I try to make sense of what is happening by trying to talk about the future and then he convinces me that there is no rhyme or reason, then the next day he calls me wanting to plan every detail of the next 6 months. Ha! We both know that can't happen but man do we try sometimes. We have our moments....anyway I couldn't have asked for a better husband. It is all so worth it. Things fall into place for us and we have to have faith that that will continue to happen. Now we get to have our first child together which amplifies everything by a million! We wouldn't have it any other way though. We already love Jackson so much and are SO ready to meet him! He is the biggest blessing ever! Which leads me to Jeremy's job....it is stable that is for sure! He made the decision to re-enlist because it was best for his family and what a sacrifice he is making for us. Because of his career I can stay at home with our kids and give them the life that we desire for them.(Not what I imagined when I finally graduated college and had big dreams but this dream is way better than those dreams). I don't know how long all of this military/stay at home mom stuff will go on, but we know that even the army has been a blessing for us :) Imagine the places and experiences that lie ahead. Jackson will have enough miles racked up for a free hotel stay in his first couple of months on this Earth! Plus, we are surrounded by the best(with a hint of crazy) family and friends that we could ever want. So please don't think I am complaining or ungrateful sometimes. I know life is not easy and could always be worse. I love my life! This is my digital diary though and I'll whine if I want to.

Well I guess that's all for now. I'm going to eat 4 tums and stick my head out the back door for some fresh cold air before I drift off to sleep for about an hour, wake up, bathroom, repeat!